Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I can't say I'm not disappointed because I am. I knew I should've worked harder but my pride got in the way. Everyone told me I had nothing to worry about, and I believed them. I realize I could've campaigned harder, but I didn't think he was doing a lot, so I didn't either. Look how wrong I was.
Losing is never fun, especially when a I know that I had a high chance of winning.
Ugh. I just feel...I don't know.
I can still clearly imagine Kayla beginning her introduction of the new Activities Commissioner. I had my head on Brian's shoulder, with my eyes closed, and Andrew Yeh's name is called. Her voice still rings in my head like an annoying bell.
I'm trying to find the silver lining but I can't. Before the results came out, I thought I wouldn't mind losing, but now that I lost, I feel incredibly different. Only when I lost did I realize how much I wanted to be a part of ASB. Yes, I won't have to see Tung everyday, but I was willing to overcome my dislike for him. I really wanted to be in ASB. I wanted to integrate myself into the student body for my last year in high school and I thought ASB would elevate my understanding and interaction with the school. I wanted to mend the somewhat frayed relationship of ASB and FBLA.
I'm so butt hurt and it's so stupid. I know it's stupid. I really need to get over myself. I'm glad no one came up to me to ask me if I were okay because I know I would've cried. I almost did when Alan and Josh walked over when I was on the phone with Wilson. LOL fuck. awkward mang. I hate crying in front of others. I feel so helpless and weak. hate that shit forsureeeeee.

Yesterday was just a total mindfuck. So many people I thought would win, lost.