Sunday, January 17, 2010

Junior year

Becoming greater friends with you has brought much enjoyment and pleasure this year. However, I sometimes feel like I can't be your friend. I know this problem shouldn't lead to this, and it most cases it wouldn't, but after hearing and seeing all this stuff, I really don't think I can be both your friend and hers. I don't know why I'm letting your guys' problem affect how I view you both. She has become so much more sad and angry this year, and maybe you're not a good enough of a friend to see it, but I can. I can see she's hurt, and if you even cared remotely, you would just know to back off.
I can't help but point the finger when I see she's sad. I'm at a point where I don't even know how to help her. I even get frustrated at her for just being so... foolish.
Howard always tells me to reflect on the past, thinking of all the whatifs, but... I honestly can imagine this year being much more lax if this didn't happen. Or, if I wasn't involved, but the latter suggestion would be too unreasonable.
Disliking you would be so much easier. But I can't. You're still my friend. I guess my views are still biased because I've mostly only heard one side of this whole dilemna. However, I can't dismiss the repeated times you've proved you weren't worthy of your friendship with her.
Just stop.

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